Ladies, if you want to have a successful dating life, certain phrases should never come out of your glossy lips. Here they are:
1. When will I see you again? You’ll see him when you see him. If he wants to see you again, he’ll call. If not, next. You don’t have time for anyone that doesn’t have time for you.
2. Why didn’t you call? There’s only one answer to this question: Because he didn’t want to!!! What you’re really asking is, “Why didn’t you want to call me?” Who knows!! There could be a lot of reasons, but you shouldn’t be sitting around wondering why. You should be out dating lots of different guys and not worrying about ONE guy. Don’t be so quick to put all your eggs into one basket, because if they break, it’s a big mess!
3. Where were you? If he wanted you to know where he was, he’d tell you. What you’re really asking is, “Where you with another female that you like better than me?” Your insecurity is showing, sweetie. If anything, he should be wondering where you were.
4. I love you. You’re saying it in the hopes that he’ll say it back, but what if he doesn’t? You’ll be devastated and probably feel foolish. Saying “I love you” is not going to speed things up if he’s not ready to say it back. So just cool it, and let him be the first to say it when he’s ready.
5. Did you sleep with her? As long as he’s not sleeping with her now, who cares? The past is gone. Don’t torture yourself (and him) with these thoughts. In this case, ignorance really is bliss.
6. Are you seeing anyone else? Mystery is to men what romance is to women. You’ve just indirectly told him that you want to be exclusive, you’ve handed over control of the relationship and you’ve killed the mystery. Who knew 5 words could be so powerful?
7. Where is this going? Nowhere fast if that’s your attitude. Guys want someone fun and easy to be with, not someone that’s constantly worrying about the future. His actions or non-actions will tell you where it’s going. If it’s going somewhere, you’ll know it. If it’s not, you’ll know it too.
8. We need to talk. This is the equivalent of, “Go to the principal’s office”. Guys know it’s not going to be a fun conversation, so they’re already on the defense. If you need to discuss something, just casually bring it up when the both of you are relaxed. Don’t try to talk to him when he’s tired, stressed or trying to watch tv!
9. What are you thinking? What you’re really asking is: Is something wrong? Are you mad at me? Are you thinking about our relationship? Are you thinking about me? Are you thinking about someone else? If he wants you to know what he’s thinking, he’ll tell you on his own. If he doesn’t, he’ll lie when you ask.
10. I don’t trust you. What you’re actually saying is, “You need to step up your game, because I can see you’re up to something.” If he is up to something, he’ll just become even sneakier. Better to think smart and act dumb-it’ll be easier to get the evidence you need to confirm your suspicions.
Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, author and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love". With over 20 years experience on the relationship market, Lucia's practical know-how makes her the perfect candidate to dispense advice – in almost every dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived to tell about it. For more information, go to: http://www.lessonsoflove.net
