Women in Those High-Paying Positions Have Something I Don't Have – Are You Sure?

The door has been unlocked. There are more women than ever in high-paying jobs. Yet most working women, even those in management, are clustered into predominately female jobs and career paths. These women are almost always lower-paid than men and women who work in male-dominated positions. None of us can single-handedly change the way things operate in corporate America. But, we can change jobs. If we want to earn more money, the most assured way is to do the jobs which pay more. You are much more prepared to do this than you may think. Awareness is the first step. Many of us need to see the workplace as it really is.

Women in Those High-Paying Positions Have Something I Don't Have - Are You Sure?

I believe there are three reasons why most women do not pursue positions which they know to be higher-paying.

• They believe they lack sufficient ambition
• They see the sacrifices as too great
• They view themselves as unqualified

Let’s look at these, one at a time.

Ambition

Think about how you define the work “ambition.” Many people believe that people either have it or they don’t, and there is no middle ground. Of course, ambition is not an either/or concept. The majority of working men do not aspire to be president of the company for which they work, yet they expect to earn enough to support themselves. They do not worry about unbridled ambition ruining their lives. They know that business is not a conveyor belt that they get on and cannot control. People are not promoted against their wills.

The issue of ambition may cloud your view of a specific job opportunity. You may decide that a particular level of ambition is necessary for a specific job, when other things are actually much more important. You may be wrong about your own ambition level, or unsure of it. This uncertainty may seem to be an important obstacle to overcome. You may not want to be ambitious. You might think it is unfeminine or unattractive to have ambition. You may feel it is selfish and greedy to want a lot of money. You may feel it is more noble to work hard for little pay than to work hard for a lot of pay.

Some people would have you analyze your feelings about ambition until they are completely resolved. You will probably retire before you can accomplish it. Try to simply put these bad feelings and all thoughts of ambition out of your mind. Ambition is a vague concept, defined by different people in various ways. You work for many reasons, and one of them is money. If you had enough ambition to get out of bed this morning, you have enough to pursue a new career.

Sacrifice

You see women anchoring the news, selling cars, and developing new software products. If you’re like many of us, you may see these positions as requiring more sacrifice than your current job. You may believe that these women will pay any price to climb further and earn more.

The fact is, different jobs require different kinds of sacrifices. Yes, there are high-stress jobs which require long hours and travel. But many, many jobs which pay more than yours require far less sacrifice than you imagine. I am constantly amazed at the sacrifices women are willing to make in long hours, extra work, harassment and belittling treatment, when their paychecks hardly warrant any sacrifice. Many working men and women who go home to their families every evening earn much more than you do. Be realistic, but don’t count yourself out of a new career just because you have other priorities in your life. Everyone does.

Qualifications

The issue of whether or not you are qualified for a different career path is probably more simple, and at the same time, more complex, than you thought. The word “qualify” has been overused and abused in the workplace. In fact, it remains undefined and means different things to different people, even when they are talking about the same position. Women are much more likely to consider “qualified” to mean technically competent. We believe direct prior experience in that exact kind of position is necessary. We believe some kind of unique technical training is required. In fact, the position may require someone who is politically savvy, and is able to bring a new prospective to the job. Generally speaking, men with the same level of skill are more likely to consider themselves as “qualified” for a job while the women next to them see themselves as unqualified.

In 1977, Betty Harragan (Games mother Never Taught You, Warner Books, Inc.) quoted from a study in which men and women were asked how many of the appropriate job skills they would need to have in order to “qualify” for a job. Women responded that they would need 100% of the skills. Men, on the other hand, believed they needed an average of 40% of those skills. Personally, I think this study would have the same results if done today. Consider the difference between 40% and 100%! Yes, this is an overgeneralization, but you can probably think of several examples of this in your own experience. This alone can account for the difference in confidence levels we often see in business. If one person considers himself qualified with far fewer skills than another, he will automatically feel more confident and appear more confident. In fact, he will be better able to execute the job, since self-doubt is a barrier to success. Well-paid women have learned to live with this. They have recognized that if they wait to be 100% qualified, they’ll miss their chance entirely. So will we.

What we consider to be good performance on the job may be impossible for any human. Until we can adjust our view of competency, we will never see ourselves as qualified for the jobs we so deserve. Until we can see ourselves as qualified, we will not be. Change your view of competency from perfection at all times to excellence in the context of the job. Make your demands on yourself more realistic, and you will be able to do more. More women must learn to “fake it until they make it.” We must assume authority, instead of waiting for it to be handed to us. We must see self-doubt as a faulty misperception that we must rise above, instead of an indication of our unworthiness. We are able to do this in other areas of our lives, we must learn to do it in the workplace. For most people (men and women alike) self-confidence is learned rather than earned. We simply do not have enough time in this life to overcome all traces of self-doubt before we act. When we act in spite of our own self-doubts, and succeed, or at least survive, we gain confidence.

In other ways, women often differ from the men around them in how they approach work. We are more likely to feel powerless and doubt ourselves. We are more likely to be paralyzed by that self-doubt, unable to act until we are certain of the outcome. We often have a different, and unhealthy view of risk. We are sometimes more task-oriented than is advisable in decision-making positions, and we may lack negotiating skills. What we can do about this is the subject of Each of Us: How Every Woman Can Earn More Money in Corporate America. It is important to remember that all the highly-paid men and women you know have learned these skills, they weren’t born with them. They are only people doing their jobs, they aren’t perfect at the business game. With a few minor adjustments, we can make an enormous difference in our incomes.

By: Patricia Smith, author of: Each of Us: How Every Woman Can Earn More Money in Corporate America (800) 796-3222 http://www.eachofus.com

Her Cries for help are Real!!

Throughout my dealings with women from all over the world, I have met so many that are in a prison of pain and frustration. Through my website, they search desperately for a way out of this prison. They want so desperately to be heard.

Her Cries for help are genuine.She is not inventing her worries, nor is she so bored with her life that she is imagining things and creating her own miseries.

Her Cries for help are misinterpreted as nonsensical emotions. They are even viewed as insecurities. Some even become very defensive towards, "Her Cries for Help", and take it as a personal attack of mistrust.

Her Cries for Help, are not without reason. How can anyone actually believe that a person would deliberately cause so much upheaval in a love relationship over and over again? Who has the issues there? I have to wonder sometimes, exactly who is being deliberate?

These women are in constant conflict with uncontrollable emotions. They not only have to try to disconnect from their own person within, but they have to try to interpret them to an outsider and can only hope that person can hear, "Her Cries for Help", through her words.

These women are in need of an understanding that it is not them. This ugly reaction is a serious attempt to reach out to you for help. When something occurs time and time again, do you not start to wonder if maybe there is something more to her reaction than just what's on the surface? Surely a person that claims to love, cherish, and endure all negative and positive would know that the love of their life is in some kind of turmoil that she cannot escape. So then why do you assume everything from PMS, to mistrust? Is it not so obvious that she is not willingly hurting your relationship? Is it not obvious that she is in a hold of some kind that is controlling her? Can you not see how much, seeing you in confusion is tearing her apart piece by piece? Do you not think that she knows her reactions are causing a wall separating your ability to reach out to her?

Pretend for one moment that you are gagged and hand tied and someone else is speaking and acting for you. You can see them and you can hear what they are saying, but cannot do anything about it. You can see your loved one suffering from the intruders acts. Your guts are wrenching because you are in fact unable to stop it. This is maybe a little bit of what she feels like when her emotions entrap and imprison her and cause her to react in ways that boggle your mind.

Her love for you was in fact the trigger. Her love for you helped to lower her defenses and allowed this monster of negative emotions to creep in. Now she battles with it and fears what she cannot control. Her mind works over-time building defense walls to keep out this intruder that is so strong-willed and controlling. Her Cries for Help continue; for that is her only way of escaping this torment that in fact both of you are tangled up in. She searches for ways to rid herself of this horrible trap that she has somehow fallen into. She will never stop trying as long as she knows you will be there and that you know in your heart that it is not her deliberately sabotaging your love relationship. Your love and understanding is her strength. It is the ultimate weapon to fight and win this battle of imprisonment.

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"Bitterness imprisons life; love releases it"

- Harry Emerson Fosdick

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"I believe that we are here for each other, not against each other. Everything comes from an understanding that you are a gift in my life - whoever you are, whatever our differences."

- John Denver

Article by:
Dorothy Lafrinere Owner/Operator Website- www.womensselfesteem.com Forum- womenselfesteem.proboards29.com